The Loneliness of the Long Distance Drummer

31.8.2012

Well, as I have been playing drums as a hobby for twenty-something years, you might expect me to understand the refined and ingenious essence of a drum solo. But really I don't. What is the point of a drum solo anyway? If Dave Lombardo (world's best drummer, not only because of Slayer, but because of Fantomas, too) doesn't need one in a Slayer show, who does?

Perhaps my childhood horror plays a part - the first drum solo I heard was Peter Criss's showcase of stamina and perseverance in the midst of "100,000 years" - six minutes of beating the shit out of a snare drum, more or less. At that moment one of my favourite KISS songs really felt like it lasted what the title suggests...

SOMEBODY TAKE THE DRUM STICKS FROM THIS GUY!

By far the most boring one has to be by John Bonham in the dvd "How the West Was Won". How self-indulgent do you have to be to play a half an hour drum solo in the middle of an otherwise killer set? Think you could have included a song or two (or seven, for that matter) instead of this bullshit solo? And then you see Jimmy Page approaching the stage and smiling sadistically with a bow he stole from some poor cellist in the poker table the night before...

In earnest there are very few cases, ever, that I have found enjoyable by the drummer alone. He (or she) is there to give the rhythm, make the beat that is the foundation of the song and if he concentrates on playing the songs well it adds not only to the appreciation of the drummer, but also to the enjoyment of the band's music. As I mentioned, however, there are two instances that I have found myself being entertained by the drummer. One of them is Randy Castillo's Drum Solo in Ultimate Ozzy 1986 (both VHS and DVD versions exist), where he literally goes on tour... around his drum kit, that is, while playing (almost) continuously.

...Aaand there's the greatest ANTI-drummer of all time, Lars Ulrich in Metallica's Binge & Purge galloping like a mad cow from one drum kit to another across the stage during Four Horsemen's 10 seconds guitar break.

SOMEBODY TAKE THE DRUMSTICKS... no, wait, it's Tommy Aldridge... We're f*cked anyway...

So there you have it. There is nothing worse in heavy metal than a drum solo. Except for two drum solos... or a bass solo, obviously.