Metal is the Law

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture" - Frank Zappa

The shittiest way to start a blog would be to make a million quotes like:

"de gustibus non est disputandum" - the ancient romans, who are nowadays extinct for a good reason...

But it seems obvious:  The style of music one likes is a question of taste.There is no right or wrong, really.

Pre Folk Metal? Finntroll, go eat your heart out!

It is kind of interesting how personally many of us take music... a song is a song is a song (sounds the title of a bad U2 track, doesn't it?) As a child I just liked anything that seemed catchy and easy enough for me to understand. As an adult (not mentally, but physically anyways... well, my dick still isn't as huge as Ron Jeremy's) it seems that I direct my attention towards certain kind of bands more. Maybe certain naïve charm and innocence has disappeared since I last listened to Rölli (aaah, the legendary Allu Tuppurainen...).

Yeah, suuuuureeeee....

Let's get one thing straight: Being in a big, popular band don't mean you are any good. Consider, for instance, stuff like Justin Bieber or Wham!... Or just about any band coming from Germany (har har!)... or Finland, for that matter...

Yes, Justin, how did you guess? You ARE my FAVORITE GIRL...

Hmm... Okay, now this starts to get interesting...

So, that is why it is perfectly logical that I enjoy ruthless, absolutely rebellious, but small metal bands who have never chosen money, publicity or hot ladies instead of great musical vision... Small, uncommercial bands like KISS, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Ozzy and Megadeth (note the sarcasm here? Anyone? Hey, is that you, Gene $immon$? With $haron O$bourne? (By the way, I hate when people spell their names with dollar $ign$... So, just to piss you off, I'll do the same:))) (note the triple chin there?).

Seriously, having an orange complexion on your skin can NOT be a good thing

Well, anyways, the top ten greatest bands ever to walk the face of Earth truly have to be:

1. Judas Priest (well.... not during Point of Entry or Turbo...
or the hideous "Stripper" Owens years...)

2. Iron Maiden (well... in the 80s that is...)

3. Black Sabbath (the Ozzy years... well, except for the albums with Ozzy (just kidding, but only just...)

4. Rush (not the heaviest band, but for once rockers who were more interested in music than getting laid... which is in itself a little worrying)

5. Megadeth (yeah, I know Mustaine must be one of the most annoying, whiny bitches to walk the face of earth HELL, but he sure knows how to make a guitar squeal in ecstasy... well, used to at least)

6. Dead Kennedys (yeah, not probably quite what you'd expect... the only punk band I listen to, if you don't count Motörhead (one part punk, one part metal, one part rock 'n' roll)

The Very Best of? So that includes Black Diamond ten times in a row?

7. KISS (well... not probably that good really, any of their stuff, but it was my childhood favourite, which I'm still stuck with... as embarrassing as that is)

8. Morbid Angel (yeah, well... for satanical, chauvinistic facists they are a bunch of swell boys... before Illud Divinum Anus was released, obviously).

9. SLAYER (hmm... what can I say... a band playing the same god damn guitar solo in every song since 1990 has to be f*cking metal!)

10. Kate Bush (No, REALLY! I am serious... Hey, quit throwing rocks at me and write your own damn blog!)

I wanted to end my first longer blog entry in a grand way, so I took a long hard think about the closing words. 'TIS OVER NOW! PISS OFF!